Standing up in front of your friends and family, declaring your love, is a moment you will remember for the rest of your life. The giddy delight, the nerves, the deep affection you feel for the person standing in front of you – all these emotions contributing to the utter perfection that is your wedding day. The ceremony sets the tone for your entire wedding. Traditional, modern, romantic – the mood is established in those precious moments you’re staring into each other’s eyes confirming your commitment. The words you say will remain etched in your memory forever. Meaningful and emotional, your wedding vows are an intimate part of your special day.
Tips for writing your wedding vows
There is nothing wrong with reciting traditional wedding vows during your ceremony. In fact, many couples prefer using conventional oaths. But these are not your only option. A couple can personalise their day by choosing to write their own. Custom vows are intimate and sentimental, perfect for the couple wishing to express their love in their own words. Do you want to write personal wedding vows? It’s not as daunting as it sounds. These tips will help you put pen to paper:
Self-written vows should be a joint decision. One of you might want to say your own vows while the other doesn’t. Talk it over and decide together. Both of you need to commit to the concept for it to work. Another person you need to discuss your vows with is your officiant. Some religions have rules when it comes to the wording. Make sure you are all on the same page. Do you have to use certain phrases? Can you say the traditional words and include your own? Discussing all this early on will avoid any disappointments later.
Have a structure
While words may flow from you like a river, your vows need to have some form of structure. Before you start, decide if you’ll write them together or separately. You might want to each say the same pledge or keep your words a secret. Keeping your vows a surprise is a great idea but set up some guidelines to ensure you’re both on the same track. Decide on the tone and format. It’s also a good idea to give yourself a deadline. Waiting until the night before is probably not the best idea.
It’s time to start writing your vows, but you have no idea where or how to begin? Dust off your reading glasses and start researching. Read examples of traditional and secular wedding vows to get yourself started. You’ll get an idea of what you want to say and how you want to say it. Don’t feel limited to conventional promises. If you have a favourite song or poem, feel free to borrow passages true to your heart.
Reflect on your relationship
Besides finding inspiration from those who’ve gone before you, you need to take some time to reflect on your relationship. What do you love about your partner? What makes your connection special? Write down the emotions and moments that have led you to this point. When you know what you want to communicate with your wedding vows, writing them will be easy.
Write, edit and shorten
Once you’ve jotted down some notes and inspirations, it’s time to draft your vows. Include promises you want to make going into your marriage and affirmations of your love. When writing, remember your guests will want to feel included. Avoid saying anything too personal and private, and definitely, ditch the cliches. Don’t forget to go back and edit your first draft. Check the length and shorten them if they are dragging on. Your wedding vows should only be a minute or two, not a whole speech.
Practice your wedding vows
Last, but not least. Don’t forget to practice. Say your vows out loud. Not only will this help you speak them confidently on the day, but you will hear if you need to make any adjustments. Find a close friend or family member to practice on if you’re unsure. Whether you write your own or use traditional oaths, you will remember your wedding vows for the rest of your life. These special words are the promises you make to each other as you begin your new chapter.
If you’re looking for the perfect place to confirm your love, look no further than Collisheen. Say your vows in one of our two charming chapels, or out under the open skies. We cater for all types of weddings. View our wedding packages.